What Mattress Firmness Is Best? Soft vs Medium vs Firm vs Extra Firm

One of the most important decisions when buying a new mattress is also one of the most confusing:

What firmness should I choose?

Should you sleep on a Soft mattress? Is Medium the safest option? Is Firm better for support? And who actually needs an Extra Firm bed?

At Luxury Orthopaedic Beds, this is a particularly important question because we've deliberately kept our range simple.

One Orthopaedic Merino Bed. Four comfort levels.

Soft · Medium · Firm · Extra Firm

The underlying support system remains consistent. You choose how you want your bed to feel.

And that's important, because there is no single mattress firmness that's best for everybody.

Your sleeping position, body weight, whether you share your bed and — most importantly — your personal preference can all affect which firmness feels best to you.

Here's how to choose.

First: firmness and support are not the same thing

Before comparing Soft, Medium, Firm and Extra Firm, it's important to understand one distinction.

Mattress firmness is not the same as mattress support.

Firmness describes the sensation you experience when you lie on a mattress.

Does it feel soft and cushioned?

Balanced?

Firm?

Very firm?

Support refers more to what the mattress is doing underneath you — how it responds to your body and supports you across the sleeping surface.

This is why we don't believe everyone looking for a supportive mattress should automatically buy a Firm or Extra Firm bed.

A mattress can have an effective underlying support system while still having a softer comfort feel.

Consumer NZ similarly advises shoppers not to assume the hardest mattress is necessarily the right choice and notes that the padding and spring system both affect how a mattress performs. Consumer NZ's bed-buying guide

So, what mattress firmness is best?

There isn't one answer.

As a broad guide:

But that is only the beginning.

Two people can lie on exactly the same mattress and have completely different opinions about it.

One person might say:

“That's perfect.”

Their partner lies down and says:

“That's far too firm.”

Neither person is wrong.

Comfort is personal.

Who should consider a Soft mattress?

A Soft mattress provides more noticeable cushioning and allows you to settle further into the comfort layers.

It can be particularly appealing if you love the feeling of being cushioned by your bed rather than sleeping predominantly on top of it.

Soft may suit you if:

• you naturally prefer a plush sleeping surface

• you're a side sleeper who enjoys more cushioning around your shoulder and hip

• you're relatively light and find many mattresses feel harder than expected

• you dislike the sensation of a firm mattress

• pressure relief is particularly important to your comfort

Side sleepers often gravitate towards softer comfort levels because the shoulders and hips need to settle into the mattress.

However, Soft doesn't automatically mean "best for side sleepers."

A heavier side sleeper may experience a Soft mattress very differently from a lighter side sleeper.

And some side sleepers simply love a firmer bed.

Your preference still matters.

Is a Soft mattress less supportive?

Not necessarily.

This is where the distinction between support and firmness becomes important.

A mattress can have a supportive underlying spring system and still have softer comfort layers above it.

At Luxury Orthopaedic Beds, for example, our Soft Orthopaedic Merino Bed still uses our 5-zone pocket spring support system.

You're changing the comfort feel of the bed — you're not simply removing the underlying support.

That's why we'd rather ask:

“What comfort level do you prefer?”

than:

“How much support do you want?”

Everybody wants appropriate support.

Not everybody wants the same firmness.

Who should consider a Medium mattress?

If you don't like beds that feel particularly soft or particularly firm, Medium is the obvious place to start.

Medium aims for the middle ground:

Cushioning + support + a balanced overall feel.

This can make it particularly useful for:

• couples

• combination sleepers

• guest bedrooms

• Airbnb properties

• holiday homes

• people who aren't sure whether they prefer soft or firm

• anyone who describes their ideal mattress as "not too soft and not too hard"

Medium is also the comfort level we commonly see selected for guest accommodation, where the bed needs to appeal to many different sleepers rather than one individual.

That makes sense.

An Airbnb host can't know whether next week's guest prefers Soft and the following week's guest prefers Firm.

A balanced Medium feel avoids going too far towards either extreme.

Is Medium the safest mattress firmness if I'm unsure?

Often, yes — as a starting point.

If somebody tells us:

“I really don't know what firmness I like. I just want something comfortable and supportive.”

we wouldn't automatically send them towards the hardest mattress.

We'd want to know what they're sleeping on now, their sleeping position, approximate body type and what they like or dislike about their current bed.

But if they genuinely have no strong preference either way, Medium is a sensible comfort level to investigate first.

There's another interesting reason for this.

Research into mattresses and non-specific lower-back discomfort has generally not supported the old idea that everyone should simply sleep on a very firm mattress. A well-known randomised clinical trial found better outcomes with medium-firm mattresses than firm mattresses for participants with chronic non-specific lower-back pain.

That doesn't mean Medium is medically "best" for everyone.

It simply reinforces the point that harder isn't automatically better.

Who should consider a Firm mattress?

Firm is for people who enjoy a noticeably firmer sleeping surface.

You generally feel as though you're sleeping more on the mattress rather than sinking deeply into it.

Firm may suit you if:

• you know you enjoy a firmer bed

• you dislike a deeply cushioned feeling

• your current mattress feels too soft

• you prefer to feel more on top of the mattress

• you're a back or stomach sleeper who prefers greater surface firmness

• you're a heavier sleeper who finds softer mattresses feel too yielding

Again, these are guides rather than rules.

A lighter side sleeper can love Firm.

A heavier back sleeper can love Medium.

That's why mattress selection shouldn't be reduced to a chart that tells everybody of a particular weight or sleeping position exactly what they must buy.

Does Firm mean better for your back?

No.

This is one of the biggest mattress myths.

A supportive bed is important, but simply making the sleeping surface harder doesn't automatically make it better for your back.

For some people, Firm feels fantastic.

For others, excessive firmness can create uncomfortable pressure around the shoulders, hips or other areas.

If you're buying a mattress because of back discomfort, consider support, pressure relief, sleeping position and personal comfort rather than simply choosing the firmest mattress available.

And if you have persistent or significant back pain, seek appropriate professional health advice rather than expecting a mattress to diagnose or treat the underlying cause.

Who should consider an Extra Firm mattress?

Extra Firm sits at the far end of the comfort scale.

And we think it should generally be chosen for a straightforward reason:

You genuinely like a very firm bed.

Extra Firm may suit you if:

• you've previously slept comfortably on very firm mattresses

• Firm mattresses regularly feel too soft to you

• you strongly dislike sinking into a mattress

• you want a very firm sleeping surface

• you know from experience that this is your preferred feel

We wouldn't automatically recommend Extra Firm simply because somebody is heavier.

We also wouldn't automatically recommend it because somebody tells us they have back pain.

Extra Firm is a comfort preference — not a medical prescription.

That's an important distinction.

Does your sleeping position determine mattress firmness?

It can help guide the decision, but it shouldn't make the decision for you.

Side sleeper

Your shoulders and hips need to be accommodated by the mattress.

For this reason, many side sleepers prefer Soft through Medium, depending on their body weight and personal preference.

But some side sleepers genuinely prefer Firm.

Back sleeper

Back sleepers often gravitate towards Medium through Firm, looking for a combination of contouring and underlying support.

Stomach sleeper

Stomach sleepers often prefer a firmer feel, particularly if they find softer mattresses allow their midsection to sink more than they like.

Combination sleeper

If you're constantly moving between your side and back, a moderate comfort level such as Medium can be worth trying because you're not optimising the bed for just one sleeping position.

These aren't rigid rules.

Think of them as starting points.

Your body weight changes how firmness feels

This is extremely important.

Imagine two people lying on the same mattress.

One weighs 55kg.

The other weighs 110kg.

They aren't necessarily going to experience that mattress in the same way.

The heavier sleeper will generally compress the mattress's comfort layers further.

The lighter sleeper may remain closer to the surface.

As a result, a mattress that feels Medium to one person could feel considerably firmer or softer to another.

This is why generic descriptions such as:

“Medium is a 5 out of 10”

only tell you so much.

The mattress doesn't know what number is printed on its label.

Your body determines how you experience it.

What if you're a couple and like different firmness levels?

This is extremely common.

One partner says:

“I want Firm.”

The other says:

“Absolutely not.”

Before compromising, work out how far apart your preferences actually are.

Sometimes one partner wants Medium and the other Firm.

That's a much easier compromise than somebody who loves Soft sharing with somebody who wants Extra Firm.

Also consider:

• each person's body weight

• sleeping positions

• how sensitive each person is to pressure

• whether one partner moves frequently

• whether your existing bed is actually too soft or simply worn out

If your preferences are relatively close, Medium can sometimes provide a useful middle ground.

But don't automatically assume Medium will make every couple happy.

Try the bed together where possible.

Pocket springs can be particularly useful for couples

Firmness isn't the only thing couples should consider.

Movement matters too.

If one person rolls over, gets out of bed or changes position frequently, the other person doesn't necessarily want to feel every movement.

Our Orthopaedic Merino Bed uses individual pocket springs, rather than a traditional fully interconnected spring system.

The springs can respond more independently to pressure, which can help reduce movement transfer across the mattress.

That doesn't make movement disappear completely.

But it's a useful feature to consider when two people share a bed.

What if your current mattress feels too firm?

Don't automatically jump all the way from Firm to Soft.

Ask yourself what exactly feels wrong.

Are your shoulders uncomfortable?

Do your hips feel pressure?

Do you struggle to settle into the mattress?

Do you wake feeling as though you've been sleeping on the surface rather than being comfortably cushioned?

If you otherwise like the support but simply want more cushioning, moving down one comfort level may be enough.

For example:

Firm → Medium

rather than:

Firm → Soft

Small changes in mattress feel can make a substantial difference.

What if your current mattress feels too soft?

Again, identify the problem.

Do you feel you're sinking too deeply?

Is turning over difficult?

Do you feel trapped in the comfort layers?

Would you prefer to sleep more on top of the mattress?

If so, moving towards a firmer comfort may make sense.

That might mean:

Soft → Medium

or:

Medium → Firm

You don't necessarily need to go straight to Extra Firm.

Don't choose firmness by sitting on the edge

This sounds obvious, but people do it.

They walk into a showroom.

Sit on the edge of three beds.

Push down with their hand.

Then decide which one is comfortable.

That's not how you sleep.

If you're testing a mattress, lie on it properly.

Get into your normal sleeping position.

If you sleep with a partner, test it together.

Spend some time there.

Consumer NZ recommends spending at least 15 minutes lying on a mattress when testing one.

That's much more useful than pushing the mattress with your hand for 20 seconds.

Your existing mattress gives us useful information

One of the best questions we can ask somebody choosing firmness is:

“What are you sleeping on now — and what don't you like about it?”

Your answer tells us a lot.

For example:

“My current mattress is really soft and I feel like I'm sinking into it.”

That points us in one direction.

Or:

“My mattress feels like a board and my shoulders are uncomfortable.”

That points us somewhere completely different.

You don't always need to know the technical specifications of your existing mattress.

Simply describing what you like and dislike about it can be incredibly useful.

Don't forget that a new mattress can feel different initially

A brand-new mattress may not feel identical to a showroom model that has already been tried by many customers.

Your body may also need some time to become accustomed to a different sleeping surface.

That's why you shouldn't necessarily decide after one night that you've made the wrong choice.

Give yourself some time to experience the mattress properly, subject to the terms of any comfort guarantee.

What happens if you choose the wrong firmness?

This is one of the most important questions to ask before buying any mattress.

You can research for weeks.

You can lie on a showroom mattress.

You can read 500 reviews.

But ultimately, you won't know exactly how a mattress feels to you until you've actually slept on it.

That's why we believe a comfort guarantee is important.

At Luxury Orthopaedic Beds, we offer a 60-Night Comfort Guarantee, subject to our terms and conditions.

So rather than treating your initial comfort selection as something you absolutely cannot get wrong, there is a process available if your chosen feel doesn't work for you.

Always read the conditions of any mattress comfort guarantee before purchasing.

Why we offer four comfort levels

The reason is actually very simple.

People are different.

We could create 20 mattresses with 20 different names.

Instead, we've chosen to focus on one bed:

The Orthopaedic Merino Bed.

Underneath is our 5-zone pocket spring support system.

New Zealand merino wool is incorporated into the mattress comfort system.

The bed is made in New Zealand.

Then you make the important decision:

Soft

More cushioning.

Medium

Balanced comfort.

Firm

A firmer sleeping surface.

Extra Firm

For people who genuinely love very firm.

One Orthopaedic Bed. You choose the comfort.

Soft vs Medium vs Firm vs Extra Firm: our quick guide

Choose Soft if:

You love cushioning, prefer a plush feel and want to settle further into the comfort layers.

Choose Medium if:

You want a balanced feel that's neither particularly soft nor particularly firm.

Choose Firm if:

You prefer to sleep more on top of your mattress and enjoy a noticeably firmer surface.

Choose Extra Firm if:

You specifically know that you like a very firm bed and Firm generally doesn't feel firm enough.

And if you're unsure?

Don't guess based solely on the words Soft, Medium or Firm.

Consider your current mattress, body weight, sleeping position and what feels comfortable to you.

Mattress Firmness FAQs

What mattress firmness is best?

There isn't one firmness that's best for everyone. Your preferred mattress firmness depends on factors including sleeping position, body weight and personal comfort preference. The important distinction is that firmness and underlying support are not the same thing.

Is Medium the best mattress firmness?

Medium is a popular all-round option because it sits between Soft and Firm, but it isn't automatically best for everybody. Someone who strongly prefers a plush mattress may prefer Soft, while somebody who enjoys sleeping on a harder surface may prefer Firm or Extra Firm.

Is Medium or Firm better?

If you like a balanced combination of cushioning and firmness, start by considering Medium. If you know you prefer a noticeably firmer sleeping surface and less sinking, Firm may suit you better.

Is a Firm mattress more supportive?

Not necessarily. Firmness describes how the mattress feels; support relates to how the mattress supports your body underneath. A mattress can have an effective underlying support system while still having softer comfort layers.

Is a Firm mattress better for back pain?

Not automatically. Research has found that medium-firm mattresses can be preferable to firm mattresses for some people with non-specific lower-back discomfort. Mattress choice should also consider sleeping position, body characteristics and individual comfort. A mattress should not be considered a treatment for an underlying medical condition.

What firmness is best for side sleepers?

Many side sleepers prefer Soft through Medium because additional cushioning can help accommodate the shoulders and hips. However, body weight and personal preference matter, and some side sleepers prefer a firmer feel.

What firmness is best for back sleepers?

Medium through Firm can be a useful starting range for many back sleepers, but there is no universal answer. Body weight and individual comfort should also be considered.

What firmness is best for stomach sleepers?

Stomach sleepers often prefer a firmer sleeping surface because they may dislike excessive sinking around the midsection. Individual preference and body weight still matter.

What firmness is best for heavier sleepers?

There isn't one firmness that every heavier sleeper should choose. A heavier person will generally compress the mattress comfort layers more than a lighter person, which can change how firmness is perceived. Sleeping position and personal preference should be considered as well.

What mattress firmness is best for couples?

If both partners have relatively similar preferences, Medium can provide a useful middle ground. However, couples should consider both people's body weights, sleeping positions and comfort preferences rather than assuming one firmness works for everyone.

Is Extra Firm better for a bad back?

Not automatically. Extra Firm should generally be selected because you genuinely prefer a very firm sleeping surface — not simply because you believe the hardest mattress must be best for your back.

What if I choose the wrong Luxury Orthopaedic Bed comfort?

Luxury Orthopaedic Beds offers a 60-Night Comfort Guarantee, subject to the applicable terms and conditions. Check the full conditions before purchasing.

What comfort levels does the Luxury Orthopaedic Bed come in?

Our Orthopaedic Merino Bed is available in Soft, Medium, Firm and Extra Firm, allowing you to select your preferred comfort while retaining the underlying 5-zone pocket spring support system.